Well, you found this site, but I’ll warn you. The more you read and post the worse you are going to feel at some point when reality kicks in and you and your wife have “the talk” on even ground after all the self awareness and soul searching you can muster rolls off your tongue.

In my case the term I used to describe our relationship was “we are very nice dead people.”

It was literally three days after that come to Jesus when I learned (from her) that she had, and was looking to rekindle a relationship she had with our tree service man 6 years before.

All the years of not working and driving me crazy was over because she was “done.” Meaning I was no longer buying into her madness, so a swift kick to the curb was now in the offing…………..We are literally days from finalizing the divorce and I can say I’m naturally not thrilled with what happened, but I refuse to let what she did and the term divorce define me as a person. Yes, I resent the result of all my struggle and probably always will (I feel set up), but there is just no way I can risk more of my health and wealth waiting for her to snap out of it. I feel I was waiting for something to happen that would make the reason I found this site and posted feel silly. Truth is that something did not exist and (sounds like a shallow throw away line) so I’m better off in the long term.

As a business person I looked at the mechanics of divorce as I would a bad business decision. I took my licks, and moved forward. A real woman/person does not behave like my STBEW and hopefully I have learned something from it. And no, I do not want to be considered her friend as she would like me to. THAT’S MY CHOICE.