Speaking for myself, I’m tired of feeling like this. I said this to my wife in a marriage counseling session : “Everything would be so much better if I just shut my F’ing mouth and go to work.” Then the rock side of the two hard places implores me to stop being emotionally unavailable to my children. Complicate that with one of my sons getting mixed up in dealing and doing drugs, thrown out of school and running into the law AND being blamed by my wife for his behavior.
She took advantage of SHM status. However, our boys were not greeted at the door after school with a peanut butter sandwich and an apple……More like grabbing a box pizza or a box of mac. and cheese. Meaning no planned meals…..Sort of like a moth on a lightbulb with household duties. Yes, duties! Dr. Phil and Ophra would have a whole series on how abusive men are who even suggest such an idea!
Watching us ignore one another as a coping mechanism reminds me how short life is. Watching all types of couples looking at one another and seemingly want to be present for and with one another makes my chest tight.
As sure as I can be about anything, the “therapy” she goes to every two weeks (in between missed sessions I also pay for at $160 a crack) informs her new found indepenence from the oppressive marriage we have.
I have since refused to pay for her therapy (the miised appointments was that deal breaker) and that was proof positive what a manipulative and controlling husband I am. Truth, why should I pay for a “girls night” with a social worker who is a cheerleader for this nonsense.
More truth, telling her to foot that bill made me very uncomfortible and made me seriously question if was was in fact a controlling monster of a husband….BTW: This social worker is divorced from a womaizing husband. (JUST GREAT!)
A year ago I asked my wife to come back to marriage counseling. Her response was ‘What purpose will that serve if you just don’t change your behavior.” BINGO! Who’s the manipulator?

There are days I can tolerate the situation, but there are more days when her repressed anger gets the best of me. I hold my wife’s hand walking on the beach on vacation (It felt so scary) and feel like I was pulling a metal wagon. I know the feelings are there, but her $160/ hr. coping skills coach has now taken her place as the third person in our marriage steering her to even higher levels of repressed anger.

Thanks for listening