Hi Mary
Nice to hear from a woman who seems to have her priorities in order. I feel pretty cheated that I married a person who I thought was going to build a life with me and not totally change in ways I never saw coming.
Needy? Childhood? OMG! You have no idea…………..There were signs, but not for one moment did I imagine I would be as unhappy as I am today.
I’m almost done trying to fix things or figure somebody out from the point of view of a therapist. We all have issues, it’s just a matter of what degree we express them.

I’ve got a good job as far as money goes, and i have made a lot of very good (lucky) decisions that have put our family on a comforible path. Truth is, I wanted to ditch my career in hopes that it would somehow make us closer. No other way to express this. I am just uncomfortible around my wife and our oldest son who are both expert at blaming others for their problems or challenges. Our youngest son gets up every day as do I, and we do what we are supposed to do. The other two save cats full time, and the other sells and smokes pot or spends so much energy thinking of ways to get high, or get over on people.
It’s never been part of my values and when I heard the nickle drop years ago I was right to question why i would stay in such and unhealthy relationship with essentially a child.
Trust me, she comes off like a baby seal on the ice to get what she wants, only now she is openly hostile toward me and feels pretty empowered doing that. It’s like payback for being a victim of my own success.

I’m just in a dead zone.

I am glad you wrote, and actually you give me hope.

Regards,

Tom