Too funny. I’m laughing with you BTW.
I hear you loud and clear. I’ve given up on asking, telling, yelling….all of it.
In my case my wife proclaims not to need me or anyone else.
So when the voice in her head changes to a kind, supportive and emotionally engaged partner, I know what’s next since the day before she has made plans with her family about vacations, etc……my answer (served up cold) is “You don’t need my permission.”
The first time I said that to her, her facial expression went blank and her head cocked to one side like a dog hearing a strange new sound. Then I said I wish i could go, but “we” simply don’t have that kind of cash to spend at the moment. It was priceless when she actually took money out of “her” account and paid for the trip.
Making plans without me cost her some serious $’s. Her choices, her dime. Again, she doesn’t need anybody.