I’m so sorry. It’s what Husbands and Fathers are put on earth to do I guess. I’ve explained in previous posts that our son has been in rehab. He finally received his HS diploma and my wife is pushing him to apply to 4 year colleges. I have my values and a boy who did and sold drugs, failed HS, and had a gun in my house does not change his stripes in 8 months….so, as I said from day one. He is now back home and fully expecting us (me) to underwrite a $37 K/ year college in Arizona because he has a pulse. think of it. A young man with substance abuse and behavior problems goes away to live on campus…..I don’t even have to imagine that outcome. I put it this way (I say almost nothing anymore. I refuse to engage) that everyone should have an education, but nobody is entitled to one.
Of the four people in our home, two people do not work, and two get up EVERY day and do what we are supposed to do. Me and our youngest son. Again, I made it clear (in the most constructive and calm way I could) I will do whatever it takes to protect him and me.
There are two others who have the untapped capacity to make all their dreams come true, but have chosen impose their “wants” onto the other two.

I get it. The writing is on the wall. When it comes to the 11th hour (that is the pathology in our family. My wife refuses to engage until the last second and then threatens in the most passive aggressive way possible) to get her way. Whether it be, blame, shame or guilt. PLUS, I have her family pouring on at the same time, but unwilling to pass the hat.

It is coming to critical mass very quickly, and i full anticipate ,and preparing for your same fate. She will get her way through the bias legal system, continue to rescue cats full time, and life goes on. Simple!

I feel your pain and have withdrawn totally from her physically and emotionally. If she “goes there’ I listen empathetically, while being totally unhelpful. I’ve read all the woman self help books on what to do before you file for divorce. Oprah has now turned into a good source into the window of what the world is regarding legal and social landmines of how men are played like base fiddles. The articles and radio shows from “O” magazine explain how hilarious that process can be for woman under the odd idea that this is how woman can “empower” themselves and unapologetically shed the abuse of men who have the Gaul to question what they are getting out of the relationship. Men getting angry about being treated as an ATM and an emotional piece of future… who would have thought?

I once asked my wife that is she woke up tomorrow in her “perfect world” what that would look like? She had zero answer, however i suspect nothing much would change except having to deal with me on any level and having unlimited leverage.

Your post is heartbreaking, and I can see the future.