The question is dead on becasue I feel my anxiety reading it, or trying to answer it. Has the damage been done? Without a doubt.
Do I beleive in my heart of hearts she is just hanging on to hang on until she is ready to leave? Yes.
Pardon me, but we never have relations anymore. She rearly initiated in the first place, but it’s now me who is just not into it. It would be more like a release, and since I am not shallow, the disappointment is just not worth it. I’m actually in a better place most of the time ignoring her and simply not expecting anything so as not to be disappointed. I refuse to engage which is both very hard, but with practice also very liberating. Cerntainly no way to live.
I have many opportunities to stray. I have been presented these opportunities, but NEVER act on them although not having really been touched by a woman is such a long time is killing me since I am a passonate person. She is just not an adult and I really don’t know what she even expects.
Does it matter/