Welcome to my world! Been on the job for 28 years without one break in between while my wife finished up college (full-time. Never took a moment to work or contribute to the household expenses. EVER) That tradition stayed in effect for 21 years. We have a family account (the money I make goes in both our names) and then she has her account.
Many years ago she was demanding our one son go to a very expensive private school. So expensive it was almost a joke to consider. ; $12,000/ year on my salary of $35,000.
I said no, and she played a Mexican standoff until she got fed up and forged my name on the documents, enrolled him and that was that. Until I wrote the school and asked them for a copy of the tuition agreement. BINGO…..Stabbed in the back! BTW: She did this ALL WITHOUT HAVING A JOB HERSELF. Double back stabbed!
She treated it like I had wronged her. Imagine me having the gaul to write the school and not trust her. THEN she started in how she had to do it because I was “not emotionally present” toward the family. It was simple……She was trying to do the right thing and I was getting in her way. Her Dad died when she was 4, so lets cut to the chase. Daddy issues + her Mom had an abusive Dad, and her Mother had an abusive husband…..Ahhhhh the family tradition of not relying on men was taken to a higher level. Her Mom and Grandmother were control freaks…..My wife is simply entitled, but says she does not “need a man.”
She is obviuosly conflating emotional independence with financial dependency. Problem is she’s either hoping I will stroke out of have a heart attack, or leave her.

She rescues animals while the boys are in school all day which actually costs me money. She says: (GET THIS) “It’s a hobby and you should get a hobby yourself.” Hello, hobbys are things you do when you aren’t working. Like….in your spare time!
Hobbys cost money. Having interests in things don’t. So she drives hundreds of miles in the SUV I gave her, charges me for the gas and maint. and then treats me as if I’m a wife beater.

Nuff said. I feel your pain