Just stay close to your children. the last blow will be telling you that you work too much and you are not “present” for your children. Those mind games nearly did me in. If we had a disagreement, she clings to the children like euber Mom. Freezes you out, silent treatment, no sex, moody, until you cave.
You realize home schoolers have clubs and trips with other parents? My wife and our son went skiing a few days a week in the winter…….not a bad deal.
The opportunity cost of her not using her degree is HUGE! You could afford a very good private school that will help your children grow emotionally in a more structured setting.
Don’t let her weaponize those kids. Ultimate manipulation when you can’t be in two places at once. Especially when you get burned out at your job for 30 years and have no second income to loosen the tension.
We have zero debt and she acts (actually said) I should not worry too much about money because “it always comes.” A frigging child! It’s insulting and dismissive that her opinion of what I do is some sort of “magic.”
Home school???????? Brother….You are in for the long haul my friend. The concept is good in many respects if you have the means, but it will be tough on you for a very long time. Like I said, stay close to those children. If you loose that relationship you will end up like me….odd man out all the time. The guilt trips are mind numbing, hurtful beyond description, and the ultimate control over you. You think you feel resentful now? Just wait for discussions about colleges, cars, insurance, tap dance lessons. All of it.
I wrote and juggled the finances and was eventually told I was too controlling. Then when I gave her the checkbook, my 820 FICO score took a hit here and there because she didn’t have time to learn online banking and didn’t have a stamp. Or it got lost in her sun visor in the car…….there is always plenty of cash in HER checking account though. That’s right. She has her own checking which is HER money……On and on. Great Mom….No doubt about it. Terrible communicator, lousy friend and partner. As long as I go to work and shut the F up, all is well.
If I disagree I am verbally abusive, if I don’t engage and just go along I’m withdrawn and not present. I married an emotionally Daddy issues car wreck!

Good luck.