I have told her in just such terms the same thing. It’s disgraceful and abusive not only to me, but our family. Especially in a time of crisis.
She has made it known (I’ve seen this before) she is hauling out her resume box of information which has literally been collecting dust in our attic. She is applying for state jobs that have nothing whatsoever to do with her education. From what I gather these are postings for internal jobs which by State regulation they must post. NOBODY is hiring new employees in the private sector. As far as public jobs and teachers (she is a trained science teacher) they are laying them off left and right for budget reasons.
My position is to just stand still and take care of the only two people in our home who get up every day and do what we are supposed to do. I am so angry and have been for years, but raging about it only feeds into her apathy.
She goes to a therapist who I suspect has diagnosed me as a whack job. An angry abusive man a la Oprah re runs. The deck is stacked, so standing still shines the light back on her behavior. She is such a nice pleasing person from the outside (she’s a great Mom, but simply structured our boys activities to the point of OCD) Uber Mom.
I get what she is about, and even if the world does not see it, that’s ok.
She has issues that were there WAY before me. It’s heart breaking to me that she shows all this attention and love outward, but simply treats me like shit.
I feel most comfortable doing other things, and (God help me) I don’t do things for her that I take joy in. I just won’t let her manipulate me through her abusive passive aggressive behavior.
I’m so sad.