Hi
Thanks for all your encouragement, and frankly for this web site. Just so you know, I was getting text messages all night that were simply guilt trips and excuses for all the years of letting me hold the bag. The last few lines of her text accused me of holding a false storyline that I was wrong thinking her not working was the cause of our issues. I’d call it what it is and say “she refused” to work. Big difference!
She sighted ALL the wonderful opportunities she provided for our children staying home, but not ONCE did she mention how she was able to do all those wonderful things. All true by the way up until the ages of maybe 8-10 9(10-12 years ago) and even today when the are 17 and 19………….God knows, she sits at the kitchen table helping them do their college term papers and High School lessons……such BS!
Claims she always had small jobs that brought in a little money which went into her pocket, and that she never went wild shopping for herself, etc……but when it came to thousands of dollars a month for tuition, room and board and the fact that her laziness forces them to max out student loans, my answer to her is still “you are out of touch.” Being out dating other woman with children at or older than ours, totally shoots holes in her “logic.” These woman worked, kept up houses, saved money, all of that while their husbands indulged their drinking and drug habits at the families expense. Just total bunk. Her contention is still that if she worked she would then have to “do it all.” Sounds great until you ask her if she even considered trying. She just assumed i would drink beer, watch the game, and do nothing…….This from a man who would rather cut both my arms off rather than take charity from my family…….Besides, I don’t recall the day I promised anyone a rose garden. I don’t recall promising her her own bliss….she claimed that, and made me responsible for delivering the goods.
I’m really conflicted and sort of angry (today was the day), but it could not go on.