Just an update. In keeping with the spirit of maintaining healthy boundaries, I gave my wife a written list of 5 things that must happen by July 5th of this year. #1: A job working no less than 20 hours per week. #2: Since I turned over the bills and such to her two years ago, (after all the years of whining) she has turned it upside down. Paid two bills (my name) late. She must get these financial responsibilities in order. As an aside, she did me a favor and had the late fees removed then got PO at me for being upset in the first place. What a beast I am……All her hard work lying her ass off to some customer service rep. Hearing her in action was illuminating. She was proud…..I am now a believer she is an accomplished BS artist. #3:She will fund (100%) her “hobby” she calls it…..
#4: The salary she makes goes into THE FAMILY checking account (she has always maintained her own personal account) #5: She will remove my name off the cell phone, get her own account or cancel the service all together.

I could care less if she does them. My guess is she will make a half ass effort at a job hunt and forget all the others….this is her MO from day one. Like my boss, I will send her reminders every two weeks. (I gave her the list of 5 things in an email). Tough crap! I want no surprises.
They are boundaries, not demands. Set the boundary and walk away. If I hound her, that is manipulation. Won’t waste my breath.

July 5th? 90 days after my son turns 18 and I can simply refuse paying any more of his boarding school tuition. Get this. After going through detox. police at my house. Dealing drugs from my basement window like Jack in the Box, a gun, and blowing over $150 K to “save” him. He wants to apply to a few private colleges……..Guess he learned at the foot of the master moocher?
My arms are folded. My mouth shut and one word. NO.