I feel this every day. My in laws ignore me, talk behind my back, dismiss me and give me the all too familiar cold shoulder. i think my wife invented the cold shoulder.
I suffer from that treatment becasue I let the bastards rent that space in my head. I know it’s a waste of time, but I was very much a part of that family at one time so it does hurt. It hurts me to ignore them as well, but my pathology is attracted to woman and people who disrespect and withold. I’m still trying to get it “right’ and am attracted to those familiar emotional vampires.
She also has a woman therapist (divorced herself from a man who cheated on her) who has convinced her I am an “emotional blackmailer.” That term seems to be the most broad net definition that covers all ills of a one sided discussion involving a $150/ 45 min. co-pay.
Stonewalling, witholding sex, silent treatment and emotional disassociation do not really seem fit into that all too familiar type I’m drawn to.
I dare anyone not to loose it when any question or disagreement is ended with…….nothing. Silence. Passive aggressive abuse…..or, turning her glum silent treatment into an emotional gusher when the kids walk into the room, only to spin it off again on a dime when we find each other alone moments later. I’ve never seen anything like it outside of a cartoon.
My wife suggested i keep her isolated from her freinds and family…..Funny. She is a stay home Mom who never calls me during the day (unless she needs something or there is a problem) her own Mother gets on me for not knowing where her own daughter is when I answer my own telephone. The same woman who also accuses me of working too much. She does what she wants when she wants how she wants…. It’s that simple. We also have gone on EVERY single vacation with her family since before we were married.
Truthfully, I took her diagnosis of me to heart for awhile, until I started reading about things further and searching my feelings.
So don’t feel you are alone. if you want to figure out who’s wrong in your relationship amidst your in laws, just look in the mirror. It’s a no brainer. Blood is thicker, yadda yadda yadda…
My latest excuse for not going to those family fuctions are; I’ve got to color code my sock drawer. I have to backwash my Waterpik. The expiration date on the 1/4 full OJ is today.
Can’t pass up that can can sale….Don’t say no to every invite. Just get really busy. If you end up going to one or two, smile ALL THE TIME. make them think you know something they don’t.
Maybe they will stop asking.