Believe it or not, about a year ago I gave my wife top billing (no pun) on our printed checks and our joint checking account as evidence that I consider our relationship equal. She says she’s always been hurt and slighted by the fact that I “control all the money” and this was my shallow gesture to prove her wrong. She wanted balance and equality and I handed it over with the dignity of a violin player on the Titanic. I credit the account, and she debit’s it. Her part is to keep that cash flowing down hill and unrestrained. Call it her part in contributing to the her own economic recovery. Writing the checks and making sure the bills are paid on time = her part. Pish posh on that old fashioned automatic bill pay! Y3K looms and we are well ahead of that curve.
Dr. Phil is mailing me that merit badge as I type………………..Collect!
It was all my guilt from years of listening to all the horror stories of grueling puppet shows, snooty Moms at play dates, fending off the apocalypse boredom, or cracking the code of “what’s for dinner?” God Bless older divorced female Certified Marriage Therapists. Without them I would have never seen the error of my ways or come in touch with my lack of empathy. As a result I have created a financial model that rivals Enron and would send Madof scrambling for a pencil. Changing nouns is indeed the spotlight. Nobody would put up with that for 10 seconds, and my wife’s family (females) would descend on me like the entire studio audience of the Vue and Oprah combined with Dr. Oz in attendance to administer the lethal injection. BTW: Are there any such men’s shows out there like this web site. Maybe it’s time. It’s expected that when men come together to talk about this stuff they lower their heads, speak softly out of the corners of their mouths, and almost take some strange level of pride in who is the most unhappy. It’s like we don’t mean it or want to admit that we are really pretty fed up, depressed, alone or hopeless. It’s like a game of misery horseshoes.

If anything Gents, this site has given me a sense of community. A healthy perspective on what’s been nagging me or lacking in my understanding of what happened. Unless I married a total shrew, I don’t think she is really doing this as a conscious effort to see if I could bite my left ear, or financially ruin our family. It is just wrong minded thinking on her part and something better sought after by a trained professional. I can see it very clear now and am better equiped to cope with reality. As sad and hopeless as it may seem.

No reason need apply!